Hello everyone,

I have had the most bittersweet year possible. Full of incredible joy but some terrible suffering too.

Earlier in the year I got married, had 2 great parties & a great vacation, but also had crippling sciatica and ended up having surgery. Since I've been gone from here the bittersweet mix has continued: I've gone on my honeymoon, I've been good about physical therapy for my back, I got a longed-for positive on a pregnancy... and then had a devastating heartbreak when I recently miscarried (very recently).

I've also gained quite a bit of weight back (prior to PG), and topped the scales at my highest weight in over 5 years. I'd also pretty much abandoned exercise.

But, I think I'm ready to be back. Taking it slow, to be sure -- I need to avoid stressing myself out right now. I want to have a forward-looking project that involves taking good care of me.

I've been doing some thinking about the various components I used when I've been able to lose weight without too much stress, and I decided to try coming back here.

Hope everyone is well, see you around soon.

so glad you decided to come back sarah! i was actually just thinking about you last night. :huggs:

i'm very sorry to hear about your miscarriage :huggs: it seems as though it is a fairly common occurance from what i've seen with my friends, not that this makes it any easier to go through. I hope things work out next time.

best of luck with getting back on track, we are here to help you along the way in whatever way we can. I agree that taking things slowly is a good idea.

Is your back better now? It sounds like it must be.

Welcome back Sarah!! I am so sorry to here about your hardships. :huggs:

I am so very sorry for your loss... :huggs:

but I welcome you back and hope nothing but improvements for you!!

So nice to see you back Sarah, I was also thinking of you a few days ago and wondering where you were. :huggs:

I am sorry about your loss :huggs: My family has experienced the loss of a pregnancy on a few occasions and it is difficult. :huggs:

Hi Sarah, sorry you have been through so much...it's nice to have you back :huggs:

Welcome back. I'm sorry for your loss. :huggs: I'm glad you decided to come back though.

Thanks everyone.

I think I'm going to start out with a goal of 2 weeks of healthy eating, writing down what I eat. I'd also like to make a goal of 3x a week exercise, but seeing I'm starting at zero I think I'm going to start out w 2x a week for the next 2 weeks. 2 weeks seems manageable to me right now.

I think I am going to not weigh in for the 2 weeks, and maybe longer. I am really clear of where I am right now, both by the scale & by the way my clothes fit (or rather, DON'T FIT). Since my goal is to take care of myself & be healthy, I think weighing in will put pressure on me without reinforcing my goals, since I'm not at a point where I'm willing to make the sacrifices to lose serious weight. For a longer term goal, I'd like to be back into my wardrobe at Christmas, not just rotating through the handful of things that fit.

Great idea Sarah! I know you can ease back into this!

definately a good idea to start things slowly, :huggs: I'm sure you will be successful, and i agree that weighing in at this point isn't necessary. Just get back into your groove :danceparty:

Well, I went on a 35 minute walk today.

I had a very healthy breakfast, and no snacks all day, plus plenty of water.

I had 2 unexpected restaurant meals, both lunch and dinner, and did ok but was not a model dieter. I did stop my dessert after only a few bites tonight at dinner.

Progress, not perfection. Tomorrow should be more home-cooked meals so it should be better.

"Progress, not perfection." What a glorious way to think of this!!! :huggs: you are such an inspiration, thank you!

Thanks, Teach! Yeah, I like that too, I think I'll make it my signature for now.

I've had a really good day today, I did some healthy cooking, drank lots of water, and went on another walk (40 min).

I've made my exercise goal for the week already (2x)! Hoping I pass it, of course, but just nice to know I can say "I did it" for part of my "GETTING STARTED AGAIN" plan.

It's really helping me to look forward right now.

Way to go Sarah! Sounds like your taking it one step at a time :cheer:

you are doing really well sarah...exercise goal already accomplished...congrats! :huggs: :cheer:

Well, yesterday I had a really good day food-wise (well, pretty good, I did eat a bag of microwave popcorn for lunch). And I walked to an appointment instead of taking the subway, which gave me another 40 min of exercise this week.

On the down side, I tried on some jeans while packing for the weekend, and even my 2 pairs of size 16's DID NOT FIT. Arrrghh!!!! I could get them buttoned but they were skin tight with major muffin top. It is very frustrating. I am also still very much affected by the pregnancy hormones and accompanying bloating, etc. My doc said to expect this for another 2-4 weeks. I will probably wear out the 2 pair of pants I own that actually fit.

I am struck by the fact that a few months ago I lamented weighing 185, and today it's a long-off target weight.

I'm glad you had a good day Sarah!

As for the jeans not fitting...I'm with ya. Since quitting smoking I've gained about 15 lbs and my 16's fit the exact same way...with a large muffin top on top :lol: I'm down to one pair of jeans and 1 pair of work pants until i get down to my 16's again.

We'll get there Sarah. It may be 1 day at a time, but we WILL get there!

:huggs: :huggs: :huggs:

Ok, I'm checking in on last week.

Overall I did pretty well, being pretty careful what I ate for most of the week, and getting in 3 walking sessions, when my goal was only 2.

I'm pretty sure I didn't lose any weight, due to the restaurant eating and then this weekend which was pretty much a free-for-all food-wise. We had long ago planned a weekend in Cognac, France, in a gourmet restaurant-chateau, and decided not to cancel it because we thought it would be good for us to get away together for a few days. We had a nice time, but the fancy meals and wines were not conducive to losing weight. I have no regrets, I had a reasonable dinner and I'm back on the ball tomorrow morning.

Next week I will continue in the same vein, keeping a food journal, trying to make healthy choices, not stressing myself out, walking at least twice, and no scale.

It seems do-able and like it's putting me on the right course without being hard on myself.

You have a great attitude. Great to see you back on the boards. :)

Thank you for all your kind advice lately Sarah... :huggs: Those restaurants sound fabulous!!

i think you are doing exactly what you should be sarah...patience is such a great attribute to have, keep at it! :huggs:

Keep at it, Sarah - you're doing really well. :)

Well, I had a pretty good week.

I kept my food diary every day, and did more cooking than usual which really helped in terms of having good food choices on hand all the time. We had a wine-tasting dinner party Sat night, and I ate very reasonably which I was pleased with. I made cookies and while I managed to give almost all away, I did eat more batter than is good, and ate 4 cookies last night (before giving the final 2 a mustard bath as I put them in the trash can).

I did great on exercise, I was at home all week (which is rare) and was able to walk almost every day. This weekend I hadn't expected to get any exercise but due to the transport strike in Paris we ended up walking to our destinations and I did about 3 hours of walking over the weekend!

So, my commitment to myself had been to give this a try for 2 weeks and see how I felt. I feel much better about myself and positive for the future. I'm still not ready to deal w the scale (still way too bloated & hormonally messed up) but I'm signing on for another 2 weeks of food journal, healthy eating and 2x a week exercise!

Maybe in 2 weeks I'll hop on the scale. But maybe not.

What I feel really good about is that in 2 weeks I'll be proud of myself for heading in the right direction!

:wooohooo: :yourock: :fantastic:

this is really good sarah! i love that you are able to ease yourself back into things and not be tempted to jump on the scale! :danceparty:

Way to go Sarah! You're doing wonderful! :cheer:

You're doing a great job keeping things in check. I'm impressed with the wine tasting. I'd be eating and drinking everything in sight!

I like how you're doing it gradually. It's easy to want to do too much too soon and get overwhelmed. Keep it up, Sarah! :cheer:

My pants fit!

I had a real meeting today so i had to wear real clothes, not the sweats and stretchy stuff I've been wearing for weeks. I put on the pants that were TIGHT 3 weeks ago and they fit. Not roomy, not loose, not too pretty if i had tucked in a shirt (I didn't) but they fit.

Next - I want them roomy, then I'll try on the jeans. Reminder to myself -- make sure the pants are roomy first...

this is great news!

its always such a good feeling to fit into clothes that you remember being tight last time you tried them on :danceparty:

My pants fit! Hahahaha I love it. You must be over the moon about that. That has got to be one of the best signs of progress. :)

Well, it's definitely progress, but I guess I should have been more specific and said :

" My FAT pants fit"... because even the fat pants weren't fitting...

I had an 'oops' last night at dinner. Don't know why but I ate ate ate like I did before re-starting 3 weeks ago. My DH brought home takeout but it's not my fave so that doesn't explain it. I was extra hungry all day, and had done more exercise. I think I'm making progress though, because I didn't go crazy w the dessert (although I didn't hold back completely either!) and I was right back on track this morning.

The past is the past whether it was last night or last month or last year I can't change it, so I need to forgive myself and move on.

exactly, you can't dwell on things that have happened. :huggs: I think after we've been good for awhile we almost need a little break for it so there is nothing wrong with having an off day, you got right back on track which is fantastic :danceparty:

Sarah, I am in awe of your attitude... you approach this lifestyle in a smart, straightforward way while being patient and understanding with yourself. I am so happy that you are back on the right track... you are an inspiration, and I love to read your check-ins as well as the other comments you contribute!! You are doing wonderfully girl, you are on your way!! :fantastic:

The past is the past - I second that!!!

You're doing awesome Sarah! I love your updates! :huggs:

I ended up overeating much of the weekend, not just Friday night. I really overdid it on desserts (4 between Friday night and Sunday night) and bread and butter.

I'm taking the week completely off from bread. And trying to end meals w fruit. I think I can handle that for one week.

I've been doing great on my exercise (it helped that last week I was working from home most days, which is unusual for me). I walked 6 of 7 days and my goal was only 2. This week I'm sticking w the 2x goal because this week will be much tougher schedule-wise.

Food wise, I had a very good week and then an off weekend. My guess is my weight stayed the same. I'm eating a lot of iron-rich foods now (meat meat meat and potatoes and green veggies). I can't drink tea (interferes w iron absorption) and that sucks. My food journal is helping to keep me on track, and I'm doing great w fruits & veggies. I've made veggie soup about 5 times since starting back 3 weeks ago - I just throw whatever veggie I have into a pot w some broth and maybe half a sauteed onion and I have warm soothing soup w virtually no fat or calories. Carrot, pumpkin, celery, broccoli, zucchini. I'm hankering for tomato next I think...

I think I'll weigh in next Monday to get an idea of where I am according to the scale. I don't imagine it's a big shift, but hopefully it'll confirm I'm back in Onederland. I'll spend from now through mid-January on building and reinforcing healthy habits, and maybe I'll try to seriously lose in early 08.

I actually regret not getting on the scale sooner when I felt I was heaviest - it would have made my current losses seem more significant. So even if you see a number on that scale that you don't like - remember, a big number now will make your end result look even more shockingly cool.

Congrats on your healthy soups, walking and feeling good about your goals. You can do it. :flowers:

sounds like a good plan for the week sarah, good luck :huggs:

Best of luck, Sarah. The soups sound really good!