Yesterday I was thinking about my weight-loss goals and where I eventually want to get.

I pulled up an old Excel file where I'd kept track of my weight when I lost from 250 to 167 years ago, to try to get some idea of how long this would take me from where I am now.

I was then very depressed for several hours, beating myself up about letting the weight return, how terrible it is that I did this to myself, etc etc.

When I lost weight before I was basically doing nothing but working and dieting/working out. I spent almost all my free time exercising, which is something I neither can nor want to do now. So it'll probably take me even LONGER to lose than it did last time.

At this point I really wanted to cry because the task looks so huge and impossible.

Then again, I'm not really on a timetable, and if it takes 3 years it takes 3 years, right?

So I started thinking about my goal. My real goal is to get my weight down to a "normal" level for life here in France. So that's about a US-size 10 person. (In the US you'd have the same "normal" feeling around a size 14). If I do that I'll be happier, healthier, etc. I'll be able to shop for clothes, and blend into society instead of having every American stereotype the French have thrown at me (you need to stop drinking soda, you eat in between meals, etc - neither of which are my issues).

When I set up my ticker I put 185 as my goal because that's the weight I maintained successfully for several years. But in fact at 185 I was often trying to lose because that's not the weight I really want to be (at 185 I'm still almost always the fattest woman in a room). My real goal is probably closer to 155.

Do you think I should put my ticker at 155 or 185? On the one hand I've often wondered if I gave up my weight loss efforts years ago too soon - it was before my final goal for sure. But then again I'm afraid of feeling overwhelmed by the size of the task in front of me. Maybe there is a hybrid approach - with my final goal clearly established but mini goals along the way worked out too (Onederland, 185, out of "obese", etc).

What do you think?

I think you are right in thinking that a timeline is difficult because you want to have a life outside of trying to lose weight. I think as long as you are trying to eat better and get a bit more exercise you are doing well, even if it takes a bit longer than most of us would like to see a change in the scale.

Personally, I do not have my final goal on my ticker. I have been making very small goals to reach. I personally find the huge numbers intimidating and it feels like I don't make any progress because I always have such a long way to go. I find with the small goals on the ticker, the ticker moves and it feels like I am getting somewhere. In the long run it all ends up being the same anyway but this is what I need to do to fool my brain!

Try not to beat yourself up about gaining weight. I have gained almost 20 lbs over the last few months as well but I am willing to start again to get this under control. You have done this in the past so you can do it again.

Hi Sarah! I totally understand what you are going through. I currently have 2 tickers (although I need to adjust the mini-goal one to 189). I think that's why real life weightloss/maintenance is so difficult - we all have other things that will take priority at one point or another - and that's ok. As for your final goal - since it is a "size" not a weight you should maybe just see where you are at when you get to that size - a toned body will weigh more than a non-muscular one but might look 2 sizes smaller... We are for you if you need us! :huggs:

For me personally, I have always had my final goal on my ticker and daily in mind. I am the 'drill sergeant, black or white, give it my all, focus on the finish line' type of person. Mini goals are not my thing. I do not get overwhelmed by a large task, it makes me more determined. Back when I was 191 pounds, sure it was shocking to see a final goal so low... but with my personality, it made me daily strive to try hard and keep my focus. During the times that have not been 'positive' towards my end goal, I have found myself upset, sad, angry, etc... but I always just pick back up (it may take me a couple of days to get my head straight) and start again, harder... stronger... and more dedicated to my goal at the finish line. BUT this lifestyle is so personal, so unique to each individual and my suggestion is... if you find yourself overwhelmed by large tasks, than split it up into smaller ones. We must do what is best for us as individuals! :huggs: But above ALL... heavy, smaller, short, taller, pale, tanned, good hair day or bad... we must LOVE OURSELVES for who we are at all times of our lives no matter what. That way we do not beat ourselves up for a falter, we just pick ourselves back up and try again... because after all, no one is a failure who tries again!

I hope you find the way that works best for you girl!! :D

great advice so far!

i don't have anything much to add....

i would just say that IMHO i find it motivating to have mini goals along the way. I try to take things in 5lbs increments. That way i still have my final goal in mind, but i feel a sense of accomplishment while i am still working towards that goal.

But everyone is different, as said above....so you can try one way and if it doesn't work for you then you can always change :)

People sure are slimmer in france! Do people walk more there? I want to go there someday and when i do, perhaps we can have a coffee 8)

Thanks for the advice, ladies.

I still need to think it over, but I can see the advantages in both approaches.

I'm kind of feeling like taking it one pound at a time (with maybe 5 pound mini-goals) is a good way to go, but I am not someone who is scared of big challenges, so keeping the end in sight is probably helpful somewhere... Maybe I'll find another way to keep it in mind without it being my ticker (maybe I can make a password or something I use daily around it!)

Hey Sarah, just wanted to say hi. I have recently cant back after a huge weight gain (50lbs) and am trying to get back on track. Good Luck to you. :)